Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

• JohnBart Skelton
  Dating and relationships are a full time job. And in my opinion, the pay always sucks. Single is the new black.......I'd rather put that ring on something else......
• Rachel Wallins
  Saw the neurologist and I am entering into a domestic partnership with Topomax.
• Allan Finn
  Me (to heckler): Do you have to work on being irritating or is it a gift?
  
  Heckler: Maybe you should work on your material.
  
  Me: So it's a gift.
• Vinny De Gennaro
  I'm not sayin I'm greatest out there, but until he appear I'm just sittin in his chai
• Alyson Hagert
  Do we all agree that the left side of the escalator is the express side?
• Laura Leu
  The day I've been dreading for so long has finally come: I accidentally farted in yoga today
• Amy Lombarski
  GREAT MINDS talk about ideas,AVERAGE MINDS talk about things,SMALL MINDS talk about other people..
• Cyril Khersonsky
  Hot insider information! AT&T and nj transit are merging to provide even crappier service to it's customers
• Kristen Deanna
  In todays mail I got 8 "pre-approved" credit card applications. EIGHT! Does anyone else see this as a problem...I dont know much about finance, but i think this may be why our economy sucks...and probably why the divorce rate is so high!
• Jay Allen
  Soo Does anyone think its gonna be weird at Prince williams bachelor party? ya know like how ya gonna stuff a hookers G string with bills that ur grandma's face is on??
• Ben Schwartz
  DO NOT TELL ME IF Justin Bieber says never in this 3D adventure! NO SPOILERS!!! #NeverSayNever3D