Personally, I thought I had a fantastic idea for the Men's Bathroom, but I was told that it already exists, much to my dismay. I thought that as a man stands at the urinal, it would be more interesting for him if he like, stared at a picture of me in the process...SIKE. I think there should be an interesting daily article (a different one at each urinal) that one could read and educate themselves with. I think this would work in female stalls as well. I mean, really - I like to read articles, jokes, funny/motivation quotes, etc. -- and I think that since a lot of people spend some time in the bathroom during the course of the day, it would be great if there were some influential thangs on the wall whilst you're doing your business.
Like I said, my friend G told me this already exists, therefore ruining my hopes and dreams of making a difference in people's lives. Ass.
Late at night, if I'm sleeping alone, I fall asleep to the television instead of to the voices in my head. That being said, there are some really interesting commercials I see. As you know, the Wii commercial with the two lazy bitches really bothers me. But now I've discovered another one: Nutra System. Look, I think that losing weight takes a certain amount of discipline. You have to really WANT to lose the weight, have willpower to eat right and go to the gym, or perfect the sport of vomiting after meals. Either way, discipline and willpower play a big role.
In this particular commercial, the spokespeople are big time football players, whose names I will not mention. Their tag line is "If I could do it, You could do it." Um, REALLY? You are a football star. If I've learned anything from last week's premiere Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood episode, it's that commitment is key and all football players WANT it. So, Mr. Football Man - of course YOU could do it; you're trained to be disciplined and responsible. I'm not against you being the spokesperson, but I most certainly am against you saying that if you could do it, I could do it. It would make more sense if a drug-addict bum said it. Because then yea, I'd think - woah, if this loser homeless drug addict could lose the weight, then certainly I can too! Am I wrong?
My next posting is going to be about "Sayings" -- I HATE sayings. I never understand their origin and why they make sense. I mean, "You can't have your cake and eat it too?" Yes I can. If I want to have a cake, bake a cake, make it from scratch, put it in the oven at 325, slab on some icing and then EAT IT, then I can.
Eat THAT.
In college I was on our student government community relations committee and to get the attention of frat boyz we created a publication called The Stall Street Journal and tacked it inside bathroom stalls!
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staying on the souped up urinal topic, or Urinatopia as I would like to officially coin it: i was recently back home in (cough) allentown, pa, and went to a saucy little establishment that actually had televisions above the urinals. in fact, i was there during the best night of the year, or Thanksgiving eve (see previous post?) and they had decided to turn off all of the televisions in the bar so that past high school acquaintances could make awkward small talk without the hindrance of video-media. so the only working televisions in the whole place were in the mens restroom above the urinals. at one point in the night, i seriously considered going in there just to get score updates. and by seriously considering, i mean that i got a new beer and actually did it. im not at all ashamed. im actually beside myself with joyous anticipation of what next engineering marvel will be bestowed upon a place i piss on. anyway, thats all i got.
ReplyDeleteI love cake.
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