Some Status Updates are Worth A Mention - 14

First of all, eff you, FMylife.com -- my shit is cooler. Also, new to facebook is the feature where you can give someone a thumbs up for their status. Me likey.

Here we go:

• 's mother just called to ask her to measure the circumference of her head. That's totally normal.
• thinks certain people need to get a grip on reality.
• feels old saying this but can people just try to be responsible and stop making others take care of them? Banks, octuplet moms, etc?
• is about to weep with relief. TGIMF. And that means Thank God It's My Friday.
• is thinking it but just not saying it.
• needs help teaching my 5lb chihuahua the importance of letting his mommy sleep past 5am. I guess the strangeness of me actually sleeping threw him off too!
• is learning things the easy way taking the hard route.
• oves that people can't figure out her status updates. It's good stuff, people.
• has developed a nightly habit of washing down champagne with coffee. Cause that's a great cure for insomnia.
• just figured out how to stop all the nosebleeds on Lost. Humidifiers! I used to get 'em in college all the time, worked like a charm.
• "did u wear protection when u slept with them?""yea, I wore a cross." haahahahahaha.
• thinks it might be a bad sign that I have eaten ramen noodles for dinner ever night this week..
• is hoping that shooting a gun will be as fun as it looks...i've got high hopes
• Barack became prez and Leah FINALLY got booted from Top Chef. We live in a great country people!!!!
• has been bested by Lost once again. Lost: 4815162342, Me: 0.
• is working on stories, with the Facebook window open, and eBay too.
• is trying on his poker face, Lady Gaga style.
• is so excited Valentine's Day is on a weekend this year! So much more time to cuddle I can hardly stand the wait!!!!
• is proud of Joycie for getting through her tonsilectomy and can finally deep throat the 9in like da rest of us!
• is wishing her son would get off his Albuterol high and go to sleep already!
• is waiting for Lost to come on so he can be even more confused than he was last week... and the week before... and the week before...
• can't send texts or make outgoing calls in the cell, but the bill has been paid? What's...the deal...with that?
• No vanilla glazed mini-scones at my Statbucks. So sad ;(.
• thinks the fate of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich is in the balance...
• is not able to go drinking cause his sis-in-law is giving birth tonight... goddammit... just kidding heather.
• still loves her friend even though she calls from poolside in Florida, telling her about the sun and margaritas.
• is wondering, people on diets can't have Oreo Cheesecake right?
• just noticed the striking similarity between the Dunkin' Donuts and Hooters logos.
• is with mom at the mall. Yes my mom.
• is very, very sorry I used banned substances from 1991-2008.
• is fed up with morons.
• I am a new believer in the power of Craig's List. So much power!
• is sore from running my marathon last night...and by "marathon" I mean my 40 min run...still...super sore
• is "Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight."
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