Some Status Updates are Worth A Mention - 28

Between the snow, the Bachelor, Square Root Day, 24, Jimmy Fallon's new show and generally bitter people, there is quite the compilation of updates today. Here we go!

• thinks Molly is a psycho bitch. Hey Jason, go on match. com/jdate/eharmony, and date like the rest of us.
• Enjoyed Fallon last night, but learned this morning that the "Licking For 10" thing DOESN'T work on people (most people).
• just invented a tongue twister - "argyle gargoyle". Say that three times fast.
• ....today is square day...3/3/09...wont happen again until 4/4/16, so multiply by what you got...octomom is fucked.
• going to work this morning. For the second time this week. This is getting a bit excessive, no?
• is mortified that one of the main words Charlotte has said more than once is sh-t. That will definitely get her into a great preschool.
• is not fazed by layoffs & will spend her last two weeks trying to make the cut on ihavezlatathoughts.com.
• realized this weekend that girls who wear too much mascara really annoy her.
• thinks if she paid attention in math class, she'd be excited about Square Root Day.
• has never seen a girl take back a man so quickly before. Remember, he dumped you? On TV? Molly, if I cared I'd say grow some balls. You two deserve each other.
• Says Chloe on 24: 'Jack, you don't expect to interrogate a suspect IN the White House?!' As if today was her first day on the job.
• sometimes thinks my heart will explode because it is filled with so much love for Joel McHale.
• wants to let everyone know that despite the rumors...him and megan fox are not moving in together yet.
• screw the gym, my girl scout cookies just arrived!