Some Status Updates Are Worth A Mention - 36

It's been brought to my attention that at times, the Facebook status updates that "make the cut" are posted simply because they contain a) my name b) my blog name or c) something having to do with ABSOLUT. While this is true, you must look past these self-proclaimed PR stints and just appreciate them. Yes, those will automatically get you a mention - but can you be proud of a truly creative message? No. Nonetheless, I appreciate them all.
That said, HERE WE GO!

• wonders what she is going to do with all of these mangoes!
• Stolen from the event?? Tsk, Tsk you!
• is why do my dogs think duck shit is a form of fine dining?
• busted her nose on the side of a door last night while gargling mouthwash and trying to hold a convo with roommie! I might now need a nose job! Egh!
• is thinking where one can find a woman suitable for a KING.... QUEENS?
• is already tired from the gym this morning. Still waiting for that "incredible energy" people always talk about. Liars!
• Would like to see "Dancing with the Stars" called by its real name - "Dancing with people who rate lower than Kathy Griffin on the D-List."
• wishes there was a "doesn't like" button.
• thinks he may have a drinking problem.
• ....My Name Is John Skelton....and I'm A MAC.
• I offered my honor she honored my offer and all night long I was honor and offer.
• is eating a banana, to undo the effects of the mango.
• has returned from watching Absolut give birth. It was a baby mango. And then we rejoiced.
• learned that the state fish of Hawaii is the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. Yeah, bitch!
• is at the Absolut Mango party!
• watching biggest loser and eating cake.
• has some advice: If you are in a doorway, and you are neither entering nor exiting, you are IN SOMEONE'S WAY and you deserve an ass kicking.
• just watched an epic drug bust go down in her apartment building...and met a hot cop.