Today's TFLN Features

God I love this website -- mad props to whoever runs it!

(514): Good luck man
(1-514): I dont need it. Shes easy.
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(917): My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
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(410): he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
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(816): you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
(636): you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
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(845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
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(970): i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
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(847): is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
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(803): We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
(843): You're upset about this?
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(914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
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(323): WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
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(952): I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
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(704): I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
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(201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free THC
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