---
(607): I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
---
---
(646): He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
---
---
(404): one word: firstdatebathroomanal
---
---
(650): Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
---
---
(603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
---
---
(208): Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
---
---
(936): Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
---
---
(843): Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
---
(248): ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
(1-248): for doing what?
(248): for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
---
---
(248): ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
(1-248): for doing what?
(248): for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
---
(918): The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
---
---
(386): her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
---
---
(678): I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
---
---
(512): I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
---
(703): Did you fuck her?
(212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
---
---
(703): Did you fuck her?
(212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
---
(858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
---
---
(302): I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
---
---
(646): I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
---
---
(330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
---
---
(212): Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
---
---
(918): Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
---
---
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for your ThoughtZ!