November 6, 2009

What does your Online Dating name say about you?

Most of the people reading this post remember old school AOL. The time in your life where you chose a screenname, a pseudonym, a name that represents who YOU are. Even to this day, I'll still think of a person's screenname when I think of their actual name. For instance, Brianne Bartlett will always be Brezzie610 and Marissa Croughan will always be Kahlua116. That's just the way it is.

When you're doing the whole "online dating" thing, choosing your screenname is slightly important. It gives the person viewing your profile a sense of what you're all about, what your interests are.

That said, I've compiled a list of JDate screennames and what they say to me:

THE "I'M A MAN WHO KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS" MAN
  • willnotsettle18 No, he won't. He doesn't want drama and he certainly doesn't want to be stuck with someone he doesn't think is good enough for him. This boy will probably date more than three chicks at a time and will always have a wandering eye.
  • PleaseNoFreaks Poor guy has obviously had some pretty bad experiences on the J or elsewhere.
  • NotaJew4038 My kind of guy! Ha, but seriously - he's just being honest. There are a lot of men out there who love the yenta, Jewish mama-type and he ain't gettin' that by going to DJais in Belmar (I think I just threw up in my mouth.)
  • ParkSlopeFoodie "I love food, so you better love food! I like to walk around on Sundays and look for new places to eat brunch. I probably don't like brunch followed by beer and football, but have been known to hit up a happy hour or two in my day. I'm a foodie, yes - but I like to find cheap food and hidden treasures."
THE "I'M WHO IS READY FOR THE GOLD DIGGING/HIGH MAINTENANCE TYPE OF WOMAN" MAN
  • LivesInADuplex Just in case you're wondering, I don't live in a studio. I have a duplex - and like, have lots of room and probably have lots of things, which means I have lots of money. Women like money, right?
  • FinanceRunner "Obviously I work in finance. Obviously I like to run. Ladies, please read this as 'I have a great body and cash in the bank'."
  • nycfitnesspro: "I may not have money, but I know you like a man who looks good so that's what's up - I work out. A lot."
  • JacobtheJEWler Honestly, this is self explanatory and I have no words.
THE "SENSITIVE" MAN
  • GameOf1on1 This guy just wants it to be you and him against the world. He's saying "let's do this, mother. I'm ready!"
  • path2smiles See above.
  • ImJustASweetGuy Yea right, that's what they all say. You know when you're a sweet guy? When you're sleeping.
  • KindHearted2611 See above.
  • theocean74 "I would love to retire by the water, relax and make love under the stars for the rest of our lives"
THE "MY NAME IS MY HOBBY" MAN
  • VodkaSoda78 This man likes to party hardy, goes out with his friends on a daily basis, and is letting you know what kind of drink to get him at the bar after he picks up the dinner tab at the restaurant.
  • AlexESPN "I'll probably be watching sports on most Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights."
  • metsjets99 See above.
THE "YOU WILL THINK I'M WITTY WITH MY JDATE NAME" GUY
I'll tell you right now - these JDate names take the cake. These names make me giggle everytime I read them. Kudos to these men!
  • HungLikeAMezuza If you're a Jew, you're laughing.
  • JewFerrigno
  • MamboJewtaliano
  • Jewwop
  • truejewyorker
  • ManOfShevitz
  • youcanwearheels Get it? Because all Jewish men are short (says the stereotype)

And that concludes my session of JDATE Names and what my thoughts on them are.
Do you have any other additions? Match.com? EHarmony.com? PlentyofFish.com? AmIDyingAlone.com?