December 13, 2009

Stop the Corny Chain Emails and Texts

Spam in your email used to be really annoying before those spam filters made their way into the universe. Now, I hardly ever have to deal with unwanted "enlarge your penis" emails. Like, I don't need my penis enlarged, thankyouverymuch.

The closest thing to spam, in my opinion, is stupid pointless forwards. Look, if you want to send me a forward of something funny, a viral video or joke, perhaps even pictures of adorable little puppies - I'm all down for that. But, I HATE Forwarded emails that are chain letters. I cannot STAND pointless chains where you have to scroll down for 20 seconds of email addresses of people you don't know, only to get to the part of the chain where there are images of animated angels or something, complete with poetry and words of wisdom. Just when you thought it was over, there's a message letting you know that if you don't forward it to X amount of people, X will happen to you.

When chain letters were "the thing" about 10 years ago, fine - I'd play along. I'd pass them to people not only because it was the thing to do, but also because I was really nervous and self-aware that "X" wasn't going to happen. Cut to: 2009 and the realization that forwarding all those emails back in the day did NOT help me find love, win the lottery, or any other promise.

So now I rebel. Eff that. Stop clogging my inbox. I've expressed this notion to my friends and therefore the amount of stupid forwards I get have slowly decreased. Enter: Cell Phones. Like, NO. Do NOT NOT NOT start with chain text messages! I receive these chain text messages from numbers that aren't even programmed in my PHONE. Like, who is this person sending me chain texts?
The latest one I got went a little something like this:

"Send this 2 21 ppl and sum1 wil say "I wana b wiv u".. If u dnt do this u wil gt bad luk 4 this munth."

You know what I wrote back?
"If they have grammar like that, I don't want them to want to be with me. Bring on the bad luck!"