January 12, 2010

American Idol Season 9 | Auditions Day 1 and 2

Here we are - American Idol. Season 9. 2010. Minus Paula. Plus Ellen.Two hour season premiere.

Last season, Kris Allen won American Idol, beating out Adam Lambert. Funny how I haven't heard about anything Kris Allen is working on. He joins in the other Idol winners who have succussfully amounted to nothing: Fantasia, Taylor Hicks and Rubben Studdard.

Boston, MA - Day 1
Trying to rake in even more viewers, American brings in Victoria Beckham as the first celebrity judge.

"I go to the bathroom. I jump up and down and I tell myself I'm awesome," says the first girl up. Funnily enough, my old roommate BBMed me and said this girl reminds her of me. After watching, I realized why. I AM this girl! I play American Idol on PlayStation and think I can be the next American Idol because Simon thinks I'm good! Did I say "play?" I meant "played." I digress. This girl is really jacking herself up in the bathroom. It's amazing. I mean, is this real? She is horrific.

Pat Ford:

Amadeo Derocco from Rhode Island is the Vinny of Jersey Shore. But is he good? I have my doubts. Sure, he can sing this song - but I feel like I need to hear him sing something else. I don't think he was THAT good. I don't know why Kara thinks she's like some big Italiano, throwing in a "fellow paizon" out there.

Derek from Bellingham, MA - the spiritual one. The Enigma music is key here. Before taking a moment to stop and smell the flowers, Derek takes the audition stage. Victoria asks him if he's a fan of Chris Brown, to which he answers, "Yea, I like how he touches young kids all around the world." Whoops! Yea, he sucks. It's "utter rubbish" according to Simon.

Luke Shaffer from New York. Damn homie. My friend and I paused the TV to look him up on Facebook. Turns out there's ALREADY a group with 24 people as fans of Luke Shaffer. Like 24 people paused the TV to look him up and created a group. I mean, 25. wink! Want to be a fan of Luke? Click HERE

This next guy is not real. Andrew Finley He's hot. And he is acting like a total tool. I WILL NOT believe there is someone so weird out there. I think this is all a ruse for ratings.

Ashley Rodriguez. Gorgeous. Top 24. You heard it here first.

Tyler Grady with the broken wrists is pretty good! He needs a makeover, but then all should be well.

Boston, MA - Day 2
Is this history lesson necessary in American Idol?

Mike Davis sings Yesterday by The Beatles. He's pretty good! Victoria Beckham needs to eat a cheeseburger. Or drink a five hour energy. I think it's stupid and rude that Simon and Randy just got off the set after putting in their answers. Douches. I like Mike Davis!!! He's totally my type of dude!

Katie Stevens is just ADORBnation about her grandmother. This 16-year-old is THE BEST audition I have seen today. Top 24.

Justin Williams, 27, Sandy, UT. He is THE ABSOLUTE HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. He should be on American's Next Top Model Idol. In fact, that should be a show. This cancer survivor is quickly going to climb the ranks. LOTS of good looking people in the competition! Holler. [see clip above] Like, Victoria Beckham just told him he was hot.

"You sing like a three-year-old girl. You dress like LaToya Jackson. You have a beard." - Simon re: Norberto. Hahaha, oh man.

Leah Laurenti skings Blue Skies. I'm mixed on her. There is really something about her I don't like. I can't figure out if she knows who she is yet. She runs into the arms of her husky man with the great news that she's going to Hollywood.