March 2, 2010

American Idol | Top 10 Males

So tonight - in a switcharoo - the boys will be performing instead of the girls, since Crystal Bowersox is in the hospital. According to sources, Bowersox is expected to sing with the chicks tomorrow, while another source says that she's battling "serious health issues." Apparently, Bowersox has diabetes. I'm sure we all wish her a speedy recovery!

So the boys are up tonight and I'm pretty sure I hate every one of them. Ellen, you're funny and all - but this isn't your stand up comedy hour, ok? THIS is American Idol (as Ryan Seacrest emphasizes so well at the beginning of each episode.)

Michael Lynche went to a performing arts high school, where he was in musical theatre and also played football. We learn that he can bench press 550lbs, four Ryan Seacrests and also the 16-year-old contestant, Aaron Kelly.. Awesome. He'll be singing James Brown's "This is a man's world." The start is smooth and powerful. Though I'm not familiar with this song and how Lynche is changing it up (if he is,) I feel he's doing a pretty good job in his performance. It's a bit dull, but done well.
Randy gives him a standing ovation, dawg. Ellen says she's liked every song choice he's made so far and also showcases her feminism through her judgment. Kara didn't "get it" until tonight. You know what Kara, I don't think you ever really "get it." Also why doesn't she wear a wedding ring if she's married? Simon said he went from a pussy[cat] to a lion. Looks like we have someone who's safe, America! He's ADORBZ.

John Park is up next, sporting a white v-neck, blue jeans and a Justin Bieber haircut. We learn that John Park's second language is English, first being Korean. This week he'll be singing "Gravity" by John Mayer. Let's see if Park can pull a Mayer. It seems like he's REALLY feelin' the music, but there are still way too many slip-ups. He has no star quality, first of all. I'm sure he has the Asian vote, however. This is a REALLY bad performance, actually. There was potential in the beginning, but then it went downhill.
Randy didn't think Park brought anything new to the stage. He was flat with pitch problems. "Ellen, whattdya think, man?" She believes there could be more soul. Kara thought it was way better than last week, but he lacks a connection and isn't believable in his performance. He needs to let loose and get out of his comfort zone. I completely agree. Simon thinks Park's band at home will get their lead singer back soon. His performance is forgettable. And that's what's up.

Next up is Casey James, who is a mix between Leonardo DiCaprio and Jason Lewis (Smith Jared of Sex and the City.) He'll be performing a song that many idols in the past have also performed. At the age of 7, lightning blew out their TV and so he grew up without one. I mean - why not just get a new TV? Or something? I don't get it. He does something America can't see before every show. Now I want to know what he does! What a good way to get people to vote for you, Casey! He'll be singing Gavin DeGraw's "I don't wanna be." I don't know what it is - the stage - the cheesy lights - but ALL of the performances are AMATEUR to me. I'm not even paying attention to him. He sounds like a horrific cover band, which I suppose, is a step up from a karaoke performance. His electric guitar solo was good, but the transition between it and his voice was not.
Randy thought the guitar was "Hawwwt" and Ellen loves his look and sound, but wants more expression in his performance. That's what the ladies call "good on paper." Kara says, "We all got the memo, alright? The cougar's a fan. I get it, I get it...." KARA - ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO PUT YOURSELF IN THE 'COUGAR' CATEGORY? No, like you don't get to MAKE your identity. That's NOT okay. She blew up his spot, however, saying that he took two steps back and didn't do so well. (Perhaps the result of a post-lovemaking squabble from the night before?) Simon agrees with Kara, who is sitting uncomfortably close to him. At the end, she leans into Simon and mouths something that ended with "drama" - as far as my lip reading skills will allow me to tell.

Alex Lambert is up next. Again, his haircut is horrific and he really looks like Paul McCartney to me. Is that weird? He made up his own language in 6th grade. Like, wait - what? That was really funny. This poor guy is REALLY nervous all the time - and it becomes an out of body experience. I mean, that's part of being a star, no? Learning to DEAL with that fear? Singing "Everybody Knows" by John Legend, he starts off doing a really great job. He has some definite cuteness potential. He needs a makeover. Officially. His ratings would go through the roof with one - because his voice is actually really good!
Randy - "So you know what I loved about your package?" - [insert joke here] He thought Alex's performance was very enjoyable. Ellen says he's a LOT better than last week, where he now exudes a great confidence. Kara is way too tan. Simon says it was a million times better than last week. Honestly, these judges gave Alex the confident boost he needs to possibly get to the Top 10!!!

"Todrick is my name and I'm here to play a part in your game" I literally sing that every time I see him. Todrick Hall is up now and chose Tina Turner's "What's love got to do with it". Don't play the race card, Todrick. Anyway, Todrick goes on to say that he sees this as a stepping off point to show how one can incorporate singing and dancing into their routine. He says there are plenty of artists who sing and dance at the same time, like Paula Abdul. FOX then conveniently cuts to a clip of Paula Abdul's performance last year. The clip, funnily enough, is one where it's quite OBVIOUS Paula is lip-synching. Just thought that was pretty funny. Ok he doesn't sing poorly, but he's REALLY changing songs around! Last week Kelly Clarkson and now Tina Turner. The feedback the judge's provided last week was to NOT do such things. He said he took that into consideration, but really - this is completely different. Those are my thoughts.
Randy didn't love this - doesn't want him to change things - and just SING the song. Ellen disagrees. She says "Sing and move. If you're a performer, perform." Kara is babbling. And, again - way too close to Simon, who refers to the idol as "Tondrick." He has a point, Todrick really is getting this "completely and utterly wrong." NEEEXXXXXXXTTT.

Next up is Jermaine Sellers. "I am Jermaine Sellers and I rocks my onesie." Is he gay or straight? I can't tell. I also can't figure out if I like him. Singing "What's Going On?" by Marvin Gaye, I want him to STOP after the first line. It's bad. Wow. How did he get through this far? I hated him last week, too. His voice is NOT powerful. NOT strong. NOT good. Last week, Simon said he sounded like he was too jazzy. So what does Jermaine do? Add a little "Skeeboodoo doo ba beeda" into his performance. I don't get it!!!
Randy didn't think it was a great performance. Ellen likes that he "rocks the onesie" but that's the only thing she liked. Kara says it feels forced. Simon is frustrated and disappointed because Jermaine takes away the essence of a song. Jermaine asks the judges what he should sing next week and Simon quickly retorts, "I'm not sure you're gonna be here next week." OH. SNAP.

Andrew Garcia has a cool hipster gangsta vibe - but he really reminds me of Danny Gokey. He'll be signing James Morrison "You give me something." I'm speechless. It's bad. BAD. This is not the Andrew Garcia we saw before:
Ellen is a huge fan and wants to get his name tattooed on her neck. Oh Ellen - you're funny. Kara sees the potential and wants him to surprise America. Simon doesn't think he has good song choices and needs to find something that will help him stand out in the crowd.

Aaron Kelly, I dig your thoughts on cameras. For reals. He's ADORBS. I love his interaction with Simon behind stage. He was SO cute!! I want to babysit him. Singing "My Girl" by the Temptations, he grabs my attention right away. Finally, an upbeat (sort of) performance. All the others have been Bore Central Station. Yikes, he messed up a note a little bit, but it's totes forgivable! I'm not listening to the judges. Sowwie. Like, I didn't pay attention. I was busy texting.

Tim Urban likes to pray. That's all I got from his intro package. That, and Simon really doesn't like him. But he's so cute. I know this song, but I can't remember what it's cold. He sounds pretty much like the original song, but with more of a "trying too hard" in his voice. He needs to relax and just SING. Or, be a model. Because he's hot.
Randy didn't like it. Didn't get it. Ellen thinks he should be on Glee. There's no charisma - and he's not strong as a singer. Kara didn't like it, but wants him back - and Simon...well, Simon really liked him! I'm not interested in Kara's lips being in the constant purse-position.

Lee Dewyze is up next. He's a cutie-patootie! Nice boy, bad decisions. Learns from his mistakes. He's GOOD - I remember from last week. I'm into him. He is singing Hinder's "Lips of an Angel" - I LOVE THIS SONG. VERY good for his voice! He TAKES OVER the stage. He is a PERFORMER. I love him. I thought it was really great - but I'm a bit tired of the "Daughtry's" out there.
Randy likes that he's taking chances performing without the guitar. Ellen thought it was a great performance and that he was REALLY in that song. Kara thought it was a better performance than last week. Simon thinks that vocally he's the best of the boys.

Word.