August 5, 2010

The Jersey Shore - Season 2 Episode 2

Disclaimer: My Jersey Shore blogposts are NOT for recapping purposes.  I'm going to just ramble my general observations and reactions instead of writing a play-by-play explanation of what's happening.  The point is for you to read these blogposts and think "OMG, I totally thought the same thing!" and "Yes, that's the exact quote I was looking for from [insert housemate's name here] - awesome.   Here we go:

  • I love when people pretend they don't remember anyone or anything because they were drunk.  Like, if you're working and talking - you remember.  Don't "blame it on the a- a- a- a- alcohol, baby.
  • The Situation: "Ronnie's at the club hooking up with grenades and he comes home boasting that he's gonna go and hook up with Sammi too." 
  • Ronnie going into Sammi's room is just complete disrespect to Sammi. She trusts him that she didn't do anything with anyone, but then he gets into bed with her and cuddles after he was like three-way kissing?  And this poor girl is like "Aw, he went out and didn't do anything and came home to me. "  TIME TO WAKE UP, SAMMI!!!  I just lost respect for Ronnie.
  • Ronnie: "I had a Shnook night."
  • IFF? I fuck foundation?  That's lame.
  • "I didn't threeway kiss anybody did I?" asked Ronnie.  PROOF that you remember.  You wouldn't just randomly threeway hiss with people.  It's like, I didn't used to go out and be like"Hey, did I like lick the floor last night?"  Obviously the answer would be "no" because I don't do that kind of thing.
  • Why does Ronnie think that 1. Sammi won't find out and 2. It WOULDN'T be a good idea to tell her about it?  Like, don't be a wimp!
  • The Situation totally wants to blow up Ron-Ron's spot.
  • The Situation also really needs to get smaller aviators.
  • If Ron-Ron doesn't think he didn't do anything wrong, then he'd tell Sammi the truth.
  • How tall is Snooki?  Seriously?
  • J-Woww is such A HOOKER.
  • Snooki: "I feel like I'm in a rap video"
  • Snooki, don't play like you're scared to spend $395 on a pair of sunglasses, ok?
  • Angelina: "Fun night Ronnie?"  Ronnie: "I don't remember. And neither do you."
  • The Situation prepares dinner for the house and puts the chicken in the top of the fridge.  THEN, he makes a comment like "Wouldn't it be funny if someone opened the fridge and the food fell
  • Enter Snooki: "We got any pickles?"  She opens the firdge and drops the chicken that The Situation made.
  • Vinny: "Snooki is a disaster. Everything she touches drops"
  • I'M CRACKING UP OVER HERE!!!! They leave the chicken on the floor and ask The Situation what to do with it.  This is just too good.
  • Snooki: My first thought was that I don't want to clean this up. My second thought was I just fucked up dinner. My third thought was what the fuck am I gonna eat?"
  • Vinny: "Snooki cannot clean.  She cannot wipe shit off of the fucking floor."
  • Honestly, it's really funny that Snooki can't do a fucking thing.  That is SO her.  I think she's Jessica Simpson'ed herself out a little bit, though I'll be honest.
  • Sammi and Ron-Ron need to GET OVER THEMSELVES and be together or BE APART. Like, get it together.  Sammi cannot be "inferior" ever.  So she plays this big girl role that she doesn't even mean.
  • Ron Ron is a moron for telling JWoww about his scene at da club.
  • HAHAHAHA Miami ain't havin' "Situation" when Mike tries to place an order for pick up.  Teehee.
  • The bathroom is see-through.  Get over it?
  • Angelina is on the phone 24/7 apparently.  It fires people up.  Personally, I have no fucking idea why this girl is on the show.  She was not cool last year and the only thing she's doing this year is bringing unnecessary drama.  In fact, so is the whole Sammi/Ronnie thing.  I just want this group to go wild and be silly and like, get punched in the face and shit - not this bullshit "don't be talkin' shit about my man."  That's Maury bullshit.
  • Why is JWoww threatening Angelina?  
  • JWoww: "Sleep with one fucking eye open.  I'm gonna make you sweat it out."
  • Vinny is just SMART when it comes to "Real life" shit.  He knows when to talk, what to say and when to shut the fuck up and NOT talk.
  • The Situation really SHOULD change his name to "The Instigator".  He really WANTS Sammi to find out. But not really be the one to tell her.  But he's just going to fuck his and Ron-Ron's relationship up if he keeps running his mouth like this.  Vinny is really just a QUALITY man who will really REALLY make a woman happy one day.
  • Ronnie: "It's awkward, you know? Like we're ex-boyfriend and girlfriend living together.  This isn't fucking Saved By The Bell.  We aren't fucking Zack and Kelly. Like you know, it's weird."
  • Pauly D: "My boss seems to think that my hair is going to fall off and go into the ice cream.  This hair ain't movin' my dude.  150 mph on the hour. on the street bike. it doesn't move.  What makes you think it's going to move in a gelato shop?"
  • Ronnie has a SICK fucking body.  Also, is he fucking DEAF?  He's like my boyfriend.  "What?" "Huh" Everytime I ask him a question.
  • Out to da club they go!  Angelina gets wasted and starts dancing with biddies.
  • The Situation is making out with someone already.  SHe bites him. Her ass hangs out.  And that's that.
  • Pauly D is dancing with a married girl. And, making out with her.  Angelina is upset I think because she really wants Pauly D.
  • Can they all please stop wearing sunglasses all day long?
  • Angelina needs to take a hint.  Pauly D. does nOT like her.  He doesn't deal well with annoying chicks.  Remember the Israeli chick?
  • Angelina needs to stop telling Pauly and The Situation that she loves them because that's really getting on my nerves.  Mike is making complete sense right now telling this bitch to go to bed because she' like all up in their grills and they really are the ONLY ones in the house who can tolerate her.
  • I have no idea what gives this girl the right to punch Pauly D. And let me tell you something else, if I was him - I'd fucking backhand her right there and then.  She keeps saying 'you don't care, you don't care' - but like CARE ABOUT WHAT?!?!!?  She needs to be tucked in.
  • I think Pauly was a little bit mean yelling at Angelina - but you know what, back the fuck up A-bomb.  Back the FUCK up.
Word is bond.