August 26, 2010

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

Rick Dobbs Having a toddler is like having a happy, retarded puppy with a death wish and it's your job to stop them from killing themselves.

Rich Dabrowski just heard a commercial for, yes fresh balls, if it works it could be the single most important breakthrough of this century

The Body Logic is so hungry for lunch that we could taste everything AND eat everything. But really, we're just going to enjoy our ahi tuna salad. Take that, Bethenny Frankel.

Jimmy Groh wearing the pants bought the day Bea Arthur died. Sadly I do not have the appropriate slouch boots or billowy top to go with them

Viktoriya Zilberman Parking are all a pathetic bunch of loser assholes. Go do something
better with your lives than ticketing people who parked in front of
their own house! I hope your mothers are proud

Becky Pestana I'd like to thank my beautiful husband for getting me GPS in my car. One less reason to use my brain, and I like that! I think my demise started with spell check and spiraled from there..

Adrianna Giuliani Dear online media outlets: when the headline is as horrible as "Facebook Hit List Leads to 3 Teen Murders" you can remove the "Like" button next to the article

Bryce Gruber due to new technology, called "email," i will no longer be checking voicemail.

Brian Safchik I get it, they're building a mosque right next to ground zero and no one likes it!! There has been a mosque 4 blocks away from there for over 40 years. I think it's time we move on...

Frank J Castillo What's the youngest a person can die of old age

John Skelton I'm so gay, even my polars are bi. wocka wocka.

John Skelton MTV would do themselves a favor if the had a celebrity death match between Danielle Staub and Theresa. With Snookie as the referee.

Anthony Crupi The saddest thing about the death of newspapers is that hamsters will have nothing to shit on

Trevor Schneider Come to MySpace and I will Twitter your Yahoo and Google on your Facebook!

Ben Schwartz Was nervous about speaking at a nudist colony today, so I tried to picture them all with their clothes on.