Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

I judge your Facebook Status Updates:

• Jen Rypkema Girls only want boyfriends that have great skills... U kno like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hackin skills...
• Gian Manzi D'Alessio Wow just had a student give me the same attitude I use to give teachers 10 yrs ago. Now I know what teachers wanted to do to me. Knock me the hell out lol
• Andrew Goldstein Oddly enough, Oprah going off the air is one of my favorite things. #oprahcalypse
• Jason Binn Don't be surprised if your quest for happiness becomes the result
  of your unhappiness.
• Derrick Brown Watching "The Voice" on NBC. Oddly enough, I can't seem to take my eyes off of Christina Aguilera's breasts... they're mesmerizing.
• Jennifer Caluri crayola factory...what a crock. they don't even make crayons here. next time I am taking kids to route 208 to smell oreos [at Nabisco]
• Kylie Edmond Suitcase in Bahamas tragedy..forgot 2 pack my dresses 4 the @Elvisduran z100 parties this weekend!! They r hanging on my door handle in NYC!
• Alexis Tirado I just interviewed a lovely woman today who laughs as much as I do. Half the conversation was "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
• Chantelle Lauren Zino Michael Lohan is reportedly challenging The Situation's father, The Confrontation, to a face-off in the boxing ring.
• Mark Marino is pretty sure I've heard the crazies on the subway say exactly what Oprah is preaching about today—and yet nobody pays any attention to them!