Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

I judge your Facebook Status Updates

• Trisha Tobin Danze We got Thea an ipad for her birthday since it would be a great learning tool. What is she doing? Playing Angry Birds.
• Andrew Goldstein Thanks to Brett Favre I can't fully accept the retirement of a sports legend like Shaq without first seeing a cell pic of his dong
• Colleen Krenzer Flat 12 looks to have received a fun package. Flat 12 once stole my food delivery. hhhhmmmmm.....
• Diana Diner lets play a game shall we? Will ONLY Diana Diner and Leroy Stav please raise their hands? ANYONE WHO DOESNT HAVE THEIR HANDS IN THE AIR HAS TO IMMEDIATELY BUTT.THE.FUCK. OUT OF OUR WEDDING PLANNING AND KEEP THEIR OPINIONS TO THEMSELVES! See, thats a fun game! yay for NOT forcing opinions on the future bride and groom! yay!
• Becky Pestana Me: I think I'm getting a migraine. Steve: I bet you're fine. Me: Seriously. I'm seeing spots. Steve: Then look the other way!
• Mary Rambin That Sprinkles cupcake didn't stand a chance.
• Brian John Kniffel If I never hear about what Enrique Iglesias likes again, I'll be OK with it.
• Yelena Blyumberg When ur on a plane u definitely never wanna hear that something isn't working properly...
• Noelle Keppel poured water in my cereal and went into the fridge instead of the file cabinet. I need to go back to bed
• Andrew Cavagnet How come Dr's don't wear the circle reflector strapped to their heads, how can we bring that back?