November 2, 2011

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

LOST: 1 navy blue fine-point precision Sharpie pen. Brand new (never been used); only available in Sharpie 24-pack. Last seen at Sirius XM in the viscinity of the 36th floor lobby. Reward if found.

Am I the only person who hasn't been harassed by Herman Cain? Feeling a bit left out.

Knicks v heat tonight! O wait...that's not happening?

And G-d said, let there be light! And then JCP&L (Jersey Central Power & Light) said Friday night the latest... 

A FedEx driver just offered to trade his entire truck's worth of packages for the Rolls-Royce Ghost. Good to know packages are being cared for with the utmost of priority.

Sign your getting old.. few short years ago halloween was a time girls i knew posted pics of themselves looking like whores, now I get to see pics of their kids (who in a few short years will look like whores

Halloween is a distant memory...the girls asked when Santa is coming.

I have to laugh at the girls in my office that wear heels that are clearly far too high for them.... When they have to walk at a glacial pace, they should probably change their shoes. Just sayin'

Less posting about the lady that crawled into the horse carcass and more posting about Kim Kardashian please.

Does Kim K have to COPY everything I do. I have fat ass, she has a fat ass, I watch Ryan Seacrest...he makes a show about her. I read People, she is on the cover of People. I got divorced...she is getting divorced. She needs to STOP

for all who care....The "Jersey Shore" crew will return for its fifth season on Jan. 5 at 10 p.m., MTV announced today.

Anxiously waiting for the Herman Cain Harassment Report iPhone app.

Listening to Liam on his play date: Did you fart? LOL no. Then his friend: Did you fart? No. Then Liam: Did you fart? No. LOL The friend: Did you fart.... they are going back and forth. BOYS WILL BE BOYS....

Dear Starbucks, thank you for making a sugar free peppermint mocha. It's delicious and fits in my new healthy lifestyle. Love, soon-to-be-bride KJ

No wonder they only bring the McRib out once a year!

If I share my food with you, I either love you a lot or it fell on the floor and I don't want it.

Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they’re panicked over who’s getting cut from the team.

Every time I open the book, I'm hoping Waldo isn't there because he finally got a job...but every time I'm disappointed.  But he DID get a job, guys ....