November 28, 2011

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

My worst habit while driving is when I see a minivan in front of me I get as close as possible and try to figure out what the kids are watching on tv.

Some of the restrooms in the White House have flatscreen TV's and I got reprimanded for trying to walk past Joe Biden's office. Ooppsies.

Guess who got their 4s??? iSoldOut

you know you are tired when you catch yourself looking in the freezer for envelopes....

Guy at the drive thru made me feel threatened so I pepper sprayed him. Turned out he was trying to hand me a diet coke but still... Damn hippies.
there's something really satisfying about finishing the biggest size jamba juice. that's all i'm saying.

If you're picking your nose more than 45 minutes a week, life has dealt you very few problems or stressful issues of any kind, I envy you

Little Pig 1- "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!" Little pig 2- "Ewww. Shave that shit off, hippie."

I wish my 2 year old had a cell phone so I could text him a reminder not to pee in his training pants while he's at school.