February 6, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

No surprise: Madonna's team received Anna Wintour's permission in early January to use the Vogue logo for part of her Superbowl halftime performance--free of charge. DUH

Hey Fellas, here's a bit of advice. If your lady friend breaks up with you, it is not a good move to call her every five minutes, leave a long rambling message about how she needs to listen to your five plus messages and call you back. It's also a bad idea to call her a few expletives and then say "I love you". It's just not proper protocol. Also, try not to do it on a train, as this makes other innocent passengers uncomfortable. You're welcome.

My cab driver has literally made love to the juiciest most succulent orange ever for the last 20 blocks.

You know who I better not see at the Giants Victory Parade tomorrow? Anyone who complained about Occupy Wall Street. Specifically those of you "concerned" about the costs to the city of New York for police presence, security and cleanup.

I wonder if the top trend today is #hungover

HEY RUTGERS B&N: You have got to be OUT OF YOUR FRIGGIN' MIND if you think I'll pay NINE-HUNDRED DOLLARS for a "custom Rutgers PhD regalia meant to be worn through multiple ceremonies." Multiple ceremonies??? What's "multiple ceremonies?" Like going home and playing dress-up with my dog?? Give me your "standard retainable regalia, meant for one-time use" instead - I'm totally fine with that.

I am becoming the kind of woman who loves big, European handbags. I am as surprised at this development as you are.

I legitimately have a stalker. What the hell? What part of "I'm not interested" is this guy not getting???

to the woman who is powerwalking while smoking at 6 am, I think you are being counterproductive.



The best part of waking up is not Folgers in my cup