March 16, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

I really need to stop crafting!! My latest creation ... kids lemonade stand!! And Yep, I used power tools!!

Well atleast I have 8 bracket sheets I can wipe my ass with! Screw you Mizzou!!!!

Stuck in traffic on way home. And urban couple behind me regaling bus with stories of "what happened when I drank too much the other night". Ah NYC twenty something's, you are annoying yet so cute.

Dressed in a chanel suit and balmain heels in the back of a bicycle cab hahah. Only in NYC!!! #Nofreecabs #LMAO

A talking moose and flying squirrel chased by Russian spys? How much Opium were the Rocky & Bullwinkle creators smoking?

Got my taxes done today and apparently you get penalized by Uncle Sam for getting marriage. No wonder the morals in this country are going down the in sin pays better.

Lol — with Troy Fraley.

To the lady ordering sushi on a Friday in lent: duh there is a long wait, and no, you're not special, so you can't get 'bumped up' the line. If I can wait, so can you. Consider it your cross to bear for today. I know me listening to you be a frumpy bitch about everything will be mine.

On April 20, 2012 everyone will masturbate in public to raise awareness of Kony.

Aly Walansky shared Daily Vitamins for the Soul's photo.

EVERYONE will be dropping the soap in prison today! #FREECLOONEY

‎"Phoner makes me think of boner every time." - Becca Frucht as we were discussing her upcoming phoner (phoner interview) with Adrian Grenier