Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh:

Katrina King

Ladies - if you want him to want you, reject him.

Jennifer Caluri

BREAKING NEWS...Secret Service Agents are just like regular guys. Wondering if any of them wear hoodies.

Greg Dauphin

Random thought for the day...I wish that the past tense of "read" was spelled "red." Wouldn't that just make things a little easier?

Rae Patrick

if someone is being mean, try throwing red paint or flour on them like PETA to protest their cruelty to YOU

Rick Dobbs

Press release I didn't finish reading: "Skinnygirl Cocktails Introduces White Peach Margarita"

Tricia Roeland

Are speech therapists required to study early adolescent psychology? If not, they really should be.

Howard Levy took a photo with Instagram.

Ice cream for the kids on Bring Your Kids To Work Day. Not sure where the kids are right now though. http://instagr.am/p/J486Q_OwoU/

Becky Pestana

After referring to Dave Matthews as "obscure and unknown" J.Lo followed it up by saying that song choice is "em-por-ent." Oh Jenny from the Block, will we ever stop learning from you?

Tricia Roeland

Looking for volunteers to play with a 9 month old all night so his mom and dad could get some sleep.

Chantelle Lauren Zino

She should have to pay an extra $13K for that ridiculous hair style.

Fake-cancer bridezilla must reimburse scam victims $13K for wedding

www.nypost.com

Bryce Gruber Hermon

My husband thinks enemas and edamame are the same thing... Reason #826 it's entertaining to marry a foreigner.

Genevieve Ascencio

I do not want to connect with any of you on Branch Out. Thanks.

Jennifer Caluri

pretty sure today was take your kid to work day by all the kids I saw in the city...I go to work to get away from my kids so why on earth would I bring them with me.

Why on Earth would you post this?

Kenny Lugnutzz Lugo

Gobble gobble

Your updates are pointless:

Shawn Bado

I had a dream that the toaster strudel lady was trying to make me eat her food.. Following me around with her crazy bike .. Honking an annoying horn.
Not quite sure what the message was here- :/

You people need to go back to school and learn spelling, grammar and punctuation:

Stephanie ReRe Moran

Itz soo cute how ppl now n days sit n cry ova spoiled milk....who cares wat u think...just kno once u crossed my path I do it 10 times worse....talk bout me....do shit behind my back n lie to my face I pull da switch n be da grimey bitch eva....u got a lot of balls to say shit behind closed doors but grown enough to say wat u gotta say to my face....get ur sources CORRECT den approach me as a REAL person.....

Marina Levitis

On my way to the city busy day full of appointments

Christopher Rothschild

Student seeking extension, via email, just admitted she "is so dis trout right now." Must resist urge to respond with "I am very dat flounder currently."