April 26, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh:

Ladies - if you want him to want you, reject him.

BREAKING NEWS...Secret Service Agents are just like regular guys. Wondering if any of them wear hoodies.

Random thought for the day...I wish that the past tense of "read" was spelled "red." Wouldn't that just make things a little easier?

if someone is being mean, try throwing red paint or flour on them like PETA to protest their cruelty to YOU

Press release I didn't finish reading: "Skinnygirl Cocktails Introduces White Peach Margarita"

Are speech therapists required to study early adolescent psychology? If not, they really should be.

Howard Levy took a photo with Instagram.
Ice cream for the kids on Bring Your Kids To Work Day. Not sure where the kids are right now though. http://instagr.am/p/J486Q_OwoU/

After referring to Dave Matthews as "obscure and unknown" J.Lo followed it up by saying that song choice is "em-por-ent." Oh Jenny from the Block, will we ever stop learning from you?

Looking for volunteers to play with a 9 month old all night so his mom and dad could get some sleep.

She should have to pay an extra $13K for that ridiculous hair style.

My husband thinks enemas and edamame are the same thing... Reason #826 it's entertaining to marry a foreigner.

I do not want to connect with any of you on Branch Out. Thanks.

pretty sure today was take your kid to work day by all the kids I saw in the city...I go to work to get away from my kids so why on earth would I bring them with me.

Why on Earth would you post this?

Gobble gobble

Your updates are pointless:

I had a dream that the toaster strudel lady was trying to make me eat her food.. Following me around with her crazy bike .. Honking an annoying horn.
Not quite sure what the message was here- :/

You people need to go back to school and learn spelling, grammar and punctuation:

Itz soo cute how ppl now n days sit n cry ova spoiled milk....who cares wat u think...just kno once u crossed my path I do it 10 times worse....talk bout me....do shit behind my back n lie to my face I pull da switch n be da grimey bitch eva....u got a lot of balls to say shit behind closed doors but grown enough to say wat u gotta say to my face....get ur sources CORRECT den approach me as a REAL person.....

On my way to the city busy day full of appointments

Student seeking extension, via email, just admitted she "is so dis trout right now." Must resist urge to respond with "I am very dat flounder currently."