November 28, 2012

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

Day 7 of no voice. If I were Ariel, I'd at least have a handsome prince to show for it.

‎"Oh, wow! You like wet bread? I like wet bread TOO!" — a duck on a first date

GREAT JOB, whoever named anteaters. You totally fuckin’ nailed it.

i wish you could give people dirty looks via email

The huge line of people queuing to buy PowerBall tickets has prevented me from buying my scratch tickets. Idiots!

just ate an entire devil dog without realizing it. and now it's gone. and there are no more left... dont u hate that?!

So when you tell your nephew you're going to attack him with KISSES it's cool... But with strangers it's weird? Being an uncle is hard!

There's something beautifully disruptive about looking up google and samsung products at the apple store

Why aren't coin-operated rides in front of supermarkets anymore? Yea, I'm 25.. And hell yea, I want to ride a dragon..