January 22, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

Guuurl, I wanna make you an answer to an online banking security question, and I ain't talking about the Town Where I Had My First Job.

I don't know about YOUR milkshake but MINE will even MAPQUEST yo' ass to the yard.

I hate it when people pour my wine. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

I just cancelled our cable. I should be ok, right? — with Amy Feitelson.

These are workout clothes?
These are workout clothes?

YouTube comments are the lowest form of human discourse ever conceived. Bathroom walls contain a higher level of intellectual content.

Guy In Line at Coffee Shop: Jazz music is so good. It'll never die.
Me: Goonies never say die.
Guy: What?
Me: Jazz, right? Totally.

Arsenio Hall is getting a talk show, Oprahs back and Judge Judy gets the highest ratings on TV. I feel like its 1989 all over again.

Alyson Hagert — at Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR).
That awkward time I wore the 2 houndstooth-patterned things I own on a flight...