February 25, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

My life is like the episode where Ross buys a monkey and then they never explain why he has it, ever.

Hilarious how opening my health insurance bills makes me ill.

Michelle are you a first lady or a celebrity? I'm confused.

Wow,those are a really nice pair of Uggs,said no guy ever

How is it that I can keep another human being alive for eight years but I can't seem to keep a houseplant alive for eight weeks?

Stuff That Probably Happened at Oscars: John Travolta backstage trying to convince Channing Tatum to be his personal masseuse in exchange for free plane rides.

Annnnnd cue backward-hanging necklaces as a trend for the rest of 2013.

All that talk about beards at the Oscar's, suprised nobody mentioned Kelly Preston

I don't get the #IKEA horsemeat controversy. At least something in the store wasn't particle board.

I hate when I have to be honest with myself and say "NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR ASPARAGUS ON INSTAGRAM, BEN!"

Just in case there's any confusion, I'm Chinese.