February 4, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:


At least the subway wasn't crowded.
At least the subway wasn't crowded.


























Writing a channel strategy off of my meeting notes and couldn't figure out what I meant by a "C-T-J" slide...Apparently, it means that I need to create a "Come-to-Jesus" section of this presentation...good times.

Boy George "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?"
#secretlyYES

That Super bowl trophy is kissed and touched by so many men it should be called the Kim Kardashian

Having a remarkably productive day. Too bad absolutely none of my tasks completed were work-related.


Gents, pay no attention to that commercial that keeps running on ESPN. If you buy your lady a Russell Stover valentine assortment you may as well toss your dick into an active volcano.


Every time I shake hands with a man I think about how I just indirectly touched his dick. It really grosses me the fuck out. #BecauseMenDontWashTheirHandsEVER

Well, which one is it? The early bird catches the worm or good things happen for those who wait? I'm confused.

I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT THIS IS LIL KIM. I CANNOT. I WILL NOT.
Lil Kim, ummmmmmmm
Lil Kim, ummmmmmmm