February 5, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

Yes, I'm totally fine with missing out on the opportunity to never have you touch my face, Whole Foods skin care rep.

Every single time I see "first annual" on ANYTHING I have a terrible urge to comment, write in sharpie or red ink the word "inaugural." It's just not right, people.

sweat is just fat crying..

Medical advice needed: If I cough really hard and I hear a rib "pop," that means I'm on the mend, right? WebMD says it's Lupus.

‎"I only get out of bed for $5 per 500-word blog post." - No writer ever

Facebook friends. Please stop liking, sharing, and commenting on every inspirational picture, video, and story out there. Most of which are fake,fabricated, or photoshopped. You're cloggin' up ma damn newsfeed. Peace.