February 8, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:


God has a funny sense of humor.... A great guy like me is still single and He created giraffes.


There's a 6 LB tub of Nutella in my office that I'd like to swim in.


Shout out to everybody on here that don't hardly ever say nuttin.. jus be peaking, prob sitting back judging folks.. I know u lookin wit ya lookin ass..


We asked the super to fix our bathroom light. I walk out of my room to find him more than elbow-deep in the back of the toilet. This language barrier is going to make this next year very interesting.


My cleaning lady is like a silent ninja. But instead of fighting crime, she fights grime.


Blizzard warning? Ain't nobody got time for that!


The businesswoman in me is thrilled that a biz strategist from FOX News wants to interview me. But the liberal in me just feels dirty. This must be how a hooker feels when they land their first john. Le sigh...