March 4, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

Not trying to brag, but this stomach virus is turning my whole family into Kate Moss. #positivity

Daylight saving time is next weekend. Luckily, I refused to set all my clocks back an hour in the fall, thus saving me a full 19 seconds of time that I can use however I wish. Suckas.

When you're driving down the highway and a plastic bag is hovering in your lane ahead. Then you check your rear view to see if you're now the schmuck driving down the road with a bag stuck to your grill. Yea. That.

I'm pretty sure the Harlem shake is the only dance I can pull off...and mostly because it just requires shaking like I'm having a seizure. #whitepeopleproblems

what happens in Vegas stays in vegas. except STDs.

Two Things I Learned This Week But Everyone Else Has Known Forever:

1) Turning on wifi means you don't waste data. Holy crap.
2) This aux cable thingy lets me play Spotify in my car.


OH: Guy in suit to female bartender in midtown: "You REALLY don't have an iPhone charger?"