March 13, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

There's no worse feeling than lying next to the person you love and they don't know you love them...or that you're in their house again.

Oh god, i really hope they choose a pope today. because it really matters to me. I hope he is also homophobic and nearly 300 years old in values! popes are awesome

So what does it mean if we start seeing a green cloud of smoke coming from the chimney? #420

If you see a puff of brown smoke coming out of you butt it means there's a new Poop. #Smokewatch

I love it when ye call thee Big Pope-a..

surprised i've never noticed!

‎"Sex and The City" was ridiculous but somehow I recognized the characters in myself and friends. When I watch "Girls" I feel like I'm watching a different life form. I don't know these girls in real life.

I don't understand all of this talk about smoke and popes because, well, I don't give a fuck. But here's what I do understand: 1) I love smoking, especially green sticky-icky; 2) there will likely be a new strain of pot called "Big Pope-ing" after all of this; 3) those who smoke it will likely go to hell. 4) it doesn't matter because most of those people are going to hell anyway, according to the Pope. 5) what was I talking about again?

This new Pope ceremony is almost as big as the Beyonce Bowl. Maybe he'll perform the "Single Ladies" dance on the balcony

The truth? I'm not really into Historical events. Unless they are tragic enough to give me a justifiable reason and cause to get my shrink to up the dosage. 

Since a new Pope is now elected does that mean that God immediately knows that the last guy can't hear him and only the new guy can?

Must be confusing to go through all these man on man relationships (especially when it's strictly forboden) and then have them ditch you. Keep faith god, you'll find your "one" - - when you're ready :)

White smoke, black smoke...all this smoke talk has given me a contact high. #Pope

I can't tell if all the cars honking in midtown Manhattan are because of the selection of a new Pope, or because it's 3:20pm on a Wednesday.

Hey Argentina, congrats on winning "Whose Pope Is It Anyway?"

Apparently Bergoglio aced the swimsuit and talent competitions

‎"Seeing that cloud of white smoke really made me want to call my old dealer while i'm in the city."

Putting a positive spin on things.