March 5, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

Its not that I'm rude, its just I generally don't care. Sorry...I'm not sorry.

Last night, I bought a Playboy for the articles and hand lotion for my dry hands, but it certainly didn't look that way to the cashier.

I deleted my status three times today because I afraid Zlata Thoughtz is going to delete me. #truestory

How much traffic does Google get just from people checking if their Internet is working?

Tuesday is like having a friend try to convince you that Pitbull and Sean Paul are not the same person.

got asked to move to the back of the yoga class so "no one would accidentally follow what i was doing"

I fart in my bosses office every morning before he arrives, and now he has the facilities checking the walls for dead animals.