You people made me laugh today:
If you're going to celebrate Arbor Day like I am, please be sure to designate a driver.
Is laying on the floor in my coworkers office because vodka is a bitch.
Breaking News: skinny eyebrows haven't been a thing in several decades. Mostly because they don't look good on anyone.
"Dog food lid" spelled backwards is "Dildo of God". That is all...
I just walked up to my friend pearl's minivan, bought 4 tickets to a Girl Scout pasta dinner and walked off. That, ladies and gents, is a suburban drug deal.
My iPod died on my hike, so my soundtrack was the guy behind me explaining to his girlfriend exactly how to stone someone to death.
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Thanks for your ThoughtZ!