April 9, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people made me laugh today:

Sometimes I feel an uncontrollable urge to run up to people's faces with a vat of wax and get the job done. Do they really think bilateral shrubs on the fotch is a good look?!?

If you didn't take the photo, don't "share" it. Unless it's a hot chick....or a broken leg. Everything else is what google images is for. ***I'm going to assume this post was a direct reaction to my earlier one.

HOW are there only FOUR Ben & Jerry's locations in Manhattan???

I ate like shit ALL weekend, and my co-worker says to me today, “Holy crap you look amazing! How much weight have you lost so far?” And my mind is rationalizing this by saying: "OK, then let's just eat pizza, subway sandwiches and burgers from now on!"

Last day in my 20s. Should I: a) go to a frat party; b) bar hop for beads; c) play a few games of beer pong at Georgia Tech; d) go shopping at Charlotte Russe; or e) accept defeat, eat sushi and pass out on my couch at 8:30?

Low rise jeans are not for everyone. There should be a warning label. If more of you is outside your jeans than in, they may not be for you.

80 degree Tuesday

The baby keeps pointing at the dog yelling "bacon"... Dog looks scared.

If we're not getting to the point that we can subsist entirely on our Klout perks then, really, what's it all for?

I enjoy moms pushing strollers wearing Wu Tang tees.

As I'm eating my brown rice and steamed chix :) at Pei Wei I glance over and some white guy is eating a similar dish. The difference is I'm eating with something called a "fork" and he's dropping his rice with chopsticks. I cleaned my plate and bounced while his plate looked untouched. I'll never understand that. Smh.

Watching Hulu and being served an ad for Denny's I have to wonder, how large is the overlapping section of the Venn diagram that includes both people who are enthusiastic about Denny's and people who understand that "baconalia" is a play on bacchanalia? We're talking about three people max, right?