May 1, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth A Mention

You people made me laugh today:

If my kids ever say the word PowerPoint I'm going to wash their mouths out with soap

My well meaning co-worker put a stress ball on my desk and left a note: “Hope this helps you de-stress!” Would it be wrong to throw it at her face and say, “Hey, that DID help!”

I don't know what to tell you. If you're super sensitive, we should not be friends...or if you're super sober...or if you find swearing offensive...or if you breathe air... Basically all of you can go fuck yourselves.

My boss offered me coffee from her favorite store and i told her the coffee is too strong there. She then offered to buy me tampons. FML.

And I wonder why my clothes keep shrinking...

Reason #3447 not to ride the #nyc #subway