May 14, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 14


You people made me laugh today:

Dear iPhone, you can go ahead and safely assume that I am trying to type fuck, not duck. All. The. Time.


I always find it funny when people post strong opinions and get no "likes"


Lies I tell my dog: This chicken nugget? Oh, no reason. Certainly not because it fell on the floor.


So they finally revealed the "mother" on the "How I Met Your Mother" season finale. So glad. Now I can stop pretending I give two fucks about that show.


If it has tires or testicles, it will give you problems.


If you think someone is giving you a fake number...read it back to them incorrectly. If they correct you, it's legit.


At work: My nanny just sent me a lovely picture of Axel reading a book titled "Where is Baby's Mommy?"


There is nothing quite like realizing u lost track of a spider inside ur car while driving...sheer panic


Is anyone making t-shirts and coffee mugs for people that DO do mornings?