May 22, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 21




You know when you go to give someone a compliment and you take it a little too far and it borders on creepy and uncomfortable? That seems to be my M.O.

Seriously, what is the purpose of unscented deoderant?

the brief, magical NYC moment where the grass is really green, the smells haven't permeated the subway, and office ACs aren't cranked up to -80 degrees.
the brief, magical NYC moment where the grass is really green, the smells haven't permeated the subway, and office ACs aren't cranked up to -80 degrees.





























Ticket collector on train: "Sir, I'd like for everyone to make every seat available. Can you put your bag on the overhead rack?" Me: "Yeah and I'd like to not have to sit next to some asshole mouth breather. I'd like you to get me to Connecticut without colliding with another train. We can't always get what we want."

I might not be a pharmacist, but I'm pretty sure those penis enlargement pills at the gas station don't actually work. And any guy buying those pills probably has bigger problems than the size of their dick.

I'm at a charity gala-thing at someone's home. It's half Real Housewives of New Jersey, half Atlanta, and just a touch of OC. It's amazing.