May 29, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 28



You people made me laugh today:

Nothing like figuring out 200 pages into a book that you have already read it
Why is someone eating bologna on every flight I take?

I have decided that its incredibly annoying when people say "oh" when they really mean "zero." One is a letter, one is a number. Totally different.

Imagine if Costco sold dildos? It would give new meaning to buying bulk.

I just pinned 30 recipes to my board and yet I'm still making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Stomach flu. I've moved on from barfing but now I just feel like I'm in a Cymbalta commercial and can't get out of bed.

A chick on the eliptical next to me just blew a snot rocket!! Really?!? I'm right here!

If everyone wore bathing suits as clothes, we'd be a much skinnier nation.

Anyone who says, "At least you can read a newspaper or get some work done" when referring to my commute into NYC can go fuck themselves.
Anyone who says, "At least you can read a newspaper or get some work done" when referring to my commute into NYC can go fuck themselves.






























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