November 20, 2013

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

You people make me laugh:

Let me get this straight. Not only are people obsessed with posting photos of their kids/babies every day (it's fine, I've accepted it), but now they're also posting photos of kids they don't even know who supposedly have cancer and/or weird physical deformities? Really, people?! This is like, beyond excessive. OK? It's too much

Kanye West’s new music video was made by my unemployed cousin and Windows 98 screen savers.

Me: But my personal social media is just for fun.
Co-Worker: But no one thinks you're funny, do they?
Me: (Sigh). No.

Morning routine:
Wake up
Brush teeth
Pet husbands mustache
Walk dog

I won't annoy you with the details, but just know that I am complaining/whining on the inside.

This poor lady passed out in the line at Starbucks. Luckily they opened another cash register.

Rock star Adam Levine named Sexiest Man Alive. "It's a wonderful honor... but i still wish he'd gone to Medical School" said his mother.

"Sorry...just saw your text" is one of the biggest lies of the current technology age.

Office sighting: Girls chat in cafeteria, buy Snickers and chips, discuss awesome new gym memberships and how awesome they feel for finally using them.

Drinking 8 glasses of water a day requires the an ability to take a w/c break in between 18 back to back 30 min meetings. This message is brought to you by the future depends user community.
Burning love is the greatest dating show. I'm gonna have to try out for it next season.
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