January 23, 2014

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for the fresh prints.

do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason
you’re just like ;

What bitch weather pr person came up with the word vortex? Take it easy people. Its a storm and we are in the northeast. The only thing new is the word.

I say I like animals more than people, which is a strange thing to say if you really think about it because most people behave like animals.

Dear iPhone, if I have to live in this weather so do you. Stop turning off from the cold. Unacceptable.

Today's discovery: When a toddler tries on your shapewear top it looks like a slutty baby Herve Leger dress.

Best thing about taxi tv sometimes

things w/ better cell phone service than @sprint: a rock wrapped in foil, a brick wrapped in rocks, two tin cans not even with a string.

It's so cold in NYC Masahiro Tanaka asked for his Yankees signing bonus in Starbucks gift cards. ‪#‎Vortex‬

Christian Concepcion feeling hot
I don’t understand the concept of heaters. If I dressed to accommodate the winter weather outside, then clearly I can handle the cold inside. I’m sweating in places one should never sweat in. You don’t know me. You don’t know my struggle. You don’t know what I’ve been through! TURN OFF THE HEATERS!!!!!!

Ever seen a snow-covered helicopter parked in front of the NY Stock Exchange? Me neither.

It's going to be a great day.

It's going to be a great day.

Just going to take this moment to remind all of you that Justin Bieber's mother is 37.

So this means we'll see Justin Bieber on the next season of "Orange is the New Black?"

Countdown to Justin Bieber rehab announcement...

Seattle has a football team?

It's 5:00pm. Some people are walking out of the office. So I ask, "Is there a fire drill or something?" All I get back are weird stares. Someone finally says, "No, it's 5:00. It's the end of the day and we're leaving." Oh, OK. No big deal. I am just not accustomed to leaving on time, nor am I familiar with the concept of a day ending at 5:00pm.

I'm up to the part in Walking Dead where it'd be awesome if they had cell phones.

Fact: Everything a girl wants from a relationship can be summed up in the last 10 minutes of Sixteen Candles.

True or false: the moment someone tells you to relax is the exact moment you're ready to flip the f*ck out. ‪#‎shhhh‬