Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

Dan Christopher

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for the fresh prints.

Dimi Gelos

do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason
you’re just like ;
NO

Jim Mannino

What bitch weather pr person came up with the word vortex? Take it easy people. Its a storm and we are in the northeast. The only thing new is the word.

Jen Khoury

I say I like animals more than people, which is a strange thing to say if you really think about it because most people behave like animals.

Dayna Emolo

Dear iPhone, if I have to live in this weather so do you. Stop turning off from the cold. Unacceptable.

Bryce Gruber

Today's discovery: When a toddler tries on your shapewear top it looks like a slutty baby Herve Leger dress.

David Caplan

Best thing about taxi tv sometimes

Jesse Brukman

things w/ better cell phone service than @sprint: a rock wrapped in foil, a brick wrapped in rocks, two tin cans not even with a string.

Andrew Goldstein

It's so cold in NYC Masahiro Tanaka asked for his Yankees signing bonus in Starbucks gift cards. ‪#‎Vortex‬

Christian Concepcion feeling hot

I don’t understand the concept of heaters. If I dressed to accommodate the winter weather outside, then clearly I can handle the cold inside. I’m sweating in places one should never sweat in. You don’t know me. You don’t know my struggle. You don’t know what I’ve been through! TURN OFF THE HEATERS!!!!!!

Justin Rocket Silverman at Wall Street

Ever seen a snow-covered helicopter parked in front of the NY Stock Exchange? Me neither.

Jen Parsons

It's going to be a great day.

Dorothy Robinson Scott

Just going to take this moment to remind all of you that Justin Bieber's mother is 37.

Rick Dobbs

So this means we'll see Justin Bieber on the next season of "Orange is the New Black?"

Matthew Kirschner

Countdown to Justin Bieber rehab announcement...

Nancy Martira

Seattle has a football team?

Roland Brian Alonzi

It's 5:00pm. Some people are walking out of the office. So I ask, "Is there a fire drill or something?" All I get back are weird stares. Someone finally says, "No, it's 5:00. It's the end of the day and we're leaving." Oh, OK. No big deal. I am just not accustomed to leaving on time, nor am I familiar with the concept of a day ending at 5:00pm.

Zlata Thoughtz

I'm up to the part in Walking Dead where it'd be awesome if they had cell phones.

Janine Califano

Fact: Everything a girl wants from a relationship can be summed up in the last 10 minutes of Sixteen Candles.

Brielle Insler

True or false: the moment someone tells you to relax is the exact moment you're ready to flip the f*ck out. ‪#‎shhhh‬