Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention

• Frank J Castillo
  decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• Anthony Crupi
  If the game Clue has taught us nothing else, it’s that if you have a conservatory in your house, sooner or later someone named after a color will murder you.
• Janine Recchione
  Rumor has it that Victoria Beckham is pregnant with her first daughter. It's also rumored that the baby has already been put on a die
• Jason Schwab
  Glenn Beck makes me uncomfortable when he talks about "enemies of Israel and the Jew." The Jew? How 'bout "the Jewish people?" You know who used to say "the Jew" all the time? Hitler.
• Frank J Castillo
  a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
• Anthony Crupi
  Doing that thing where I start a huge fight with my girlfriend so I don’t have to buy her anything for Valentine’s Day. Don’t pretend that you don’t do the same exact thing, every other dude in the world. #strategy
• JohnBart Skelton
  I love that the receptionist at H&R Block DIDN'T put me down for the 2pm appt that I asked for, and confirmed, and that I just went all the way over there to be told I get nothing for today. Who the hell do they have on the 1 & 2's? Hellen Keller?!? She needs to kick rocks.
• Peter Habegger
  My fake plants died because I didn't pretend to water them.
• Allan Finn
  Nothing makes me feel like a monster-headed freak quite the same way as when a one-size-fits-all hat looks like a yarmulke on top of me.
• Joel Solomon
  The good news for Christina Aguilera is she’s been invited to compete on the hit TV game- show Don’t Forget the Lyrics
• Andrew Goldstein
  Saw a girl on the subway listening to a Discman staring at a dude reading an iPad. INCEPTION!
• Jennifer Caluri
  doesn't trust people with AOL email accounts
• Frank J Castillo
  needs to have a fixed income. Mine is broken.