The Art of Facebook

It's surely not a surprise that I'm an avid fan of the Facebooking sport. It takes skill, strategy and a pristine sense of direction for navigation.

Status updates are, of course, extremely important since they verify your existance as a human being. After all, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Similarly, if fellow facebooker doesn't see that you're "out in the Hamptons - Pink Elephant!!!" would you really be there? Therein lies my argument for the importance - and therefore obession - with my status updates.

Moving onto another element of the sport of Facebooking: Friend Requests. This can be a game within of itself, especially with strategic timing of when to request someone's friendship (particularly if of the opposite sex.) There are those who don't realize that slow and steady wins the race. Think about it. How soon after meeting someone do you friend-request them? Conversely, how soon after you meet someone do you think it appropriate to become friend-requested? Admittedly, I've requested someone's friendship quickly without thinking twice, but when a member of the opposite sex asked for mine not even twelve hours after meeting me, I became a little freaked out. Clearly, the point of facebook friendship is twofold. For one, said male obviously wanted me to know 'you're cool, I'm not scurred of a non-commital facebook friendship'. However, more often than not, the requestation [nation] was more or less for peeping purposes. 'Let's see her other pictures, let's see what her wall says, etc.'
I recently introduced a friend of mine to another friend of mine and the next day they were facebook friends. Like, NO - you're not even FRIENDS...you spent 2.5 hours together and will most likely not see each other again. There just has to be a rule against that sort of thing.

One final element to the sport that I will talk about are third-party applications. People need to stop being application whores. Plain and simple. If you want to buy me a beer, thanks - but if you could please take a second to check out my bumper stickers, you'll notice that I don't "Drink and Surf the Web." I should also tell you that your lil' green patches are probably not doing shit to save the environment and your efforts would be better served if you actually got off your butt and volunteered at the recycling center in your nearest neighborhood. I mean, I'm just saying. How hypocritical would I look accepting? I will say that I'm a huge fan of certain ones: My poochie Sadie lives on Pokey and I like to word-battle with Word Challenge. Flairs are also pretty dope and who can live without SomeEcards? Actually, the pure fact that you can now just post a SomeEcard onto someone's wall is just faboulous.

I think I'll stop talking about the sport of Facebooking and go back to the Olympics.