American Idol 8 - Episode 2

Another pretty much uneventful audition episode. I hate to say it, but I'm getting just a little disappointed. There were only about three people who really stood out to me. Let's get right into it:
The first three ladies, Chelsea, Ashley and Kaycee -- didn't really do anything for me. Kaycee made it through, whilst Simon compared Chelsea to a cat falling off the Empire State Building. I wonder if he has a writer on his personal payroll to come up with ridiculous sayings. I should be that person.
Brian the Opera Man sounded like he was singing and rolling down a hill at the same time. At the end (perhaps it was poor editing) the judges asked if he could even hear himself singing. He stood there dumbfounded and I wondered if perhaps he can't hear anything at all. It was an awkward moment for me.
The Crying Montage has to get a shoutout from me. It was probably the best part of the episode. That one girl who was crying and screaming to the Heavens...cmon, get with it. I mean, it's not like you just found out you've got the HIV, you're just not in American Idol.
Billy Vinson aka Big Red - I think your balls fell out of the cab on the way to your audition.
Von Smith - aka Mike Travers - You're not a black woman. You can't do "over the rainbow" and I certainly don't understand why you were screaming instead of singing. I.was.BEYOND.shocked that they put him through. Beyond.
Weed Commercials: Since I watched last night's episode in real time, I had the pleasure of seeing some pretty commercials are out there. Did anyone happen to see the pot commercial, "I made my mother cry"; "I get really bad grades in school"; "I ditched my friends and let them find their own ride."; "I let people draw on me and stick Cheeto's up my nose." -- PUHLEASE!!!!! When do any of those things happen when you smoke? I want to know seriously.
Ryan Seacrest: Get out of the tanning salon.
Jason Castro: WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE! You are just the most adorable thing, I want to squeeze you. Ignore your brother (who is, sorry to say, MUCH better than you) and his remarks about you being more girly. I love that you have feelings/emotions and want to express them. Come over. Grand Street. Hoboken. We can hang out, I'll draw on you and let you stick Cheeto's up my nose.
Michael Castro: You'll go far. You are GREAT. Top 24. Calling it now. Not only are you good, but you'll have the following of Jason's fans, too - because that's just how it works.
Girl tripping up stairs: Saw you!! Laughed at you!!
Jazz : I basically think you are the WEIRDEST creature ever. She's the one who would smile and then not smile, all in one second. I believe her hair was half black and half blue. People who look/act like that make no sense to me.
Jessica Furney - aka Screams to Grandma: Top 24. Calling it now.
India & Asia: Are you two sisters for realz?? I can't believe Snoop Dogg's Wife Shante Look-Alike made it through. I truly can't. Again, not good for credibility.
Matt Bridesky: Top 24
Goki: This is the gentleman whose wife just passed away a month ago. To say that I balled my eyes out while he told his story is an understatement. He was incredible at his audition and I really think he'll go far. I also chuckled a bit when he went the wrong way and professed, "Aw man, I never wanted to be that guy." - you know, since every asshole walks the wrong way, or through the wrong door.
NoopDogg aka Kumar: I gotta admit, I voted you as a "no," but you literally blew me away. Once you get past the fact that you're a huge dork, I think you may have a shot. America seems to like dorks - like Chicken Little - remember him?

That's all for now. As I said, I was bored with last night's episode for the most part.

Over and Out.

Z.