Some Status Updates Are Worth a Mention - 55

• 3pm please report to me at your earliest convenience, thank you.had a tramautic experience that left her hyperventilating into a paper bag last night. a mouse in my apartment. welcome to NYC.
• was saddened to hear that Farrah Fawcett has anal cancer.most guys love a good cat fight, but no one wants to date the cat
• My neighbors aren't digging the fact that I have Crucified myself on my front lawn for EASTER
• dear at&t, please stop creating commercials that make me cry. really, i'm quite tired of your ads tugging on my heartstrings. thanks.
• just saw Bob Barker walk into Borders. They started playing The Price Is Right theme song over the loud speaker. No joke.
• Wow, Matthew McConaughey plays a playboy in a romantic comedy? That is as unheard of as Julia Roberts movie showing her trademark cackle in the trailer that airs ad nauseam.
• had a dream about her upcoming trial again last night. verdict: she needs to get a life.is thinking about a 2nd breakfast.
• HEADLINE NEWS: PETA asked Pet Shop Boys to change their name. .....not a PR stunt at all.
• knows it's going to be a good story when it starts out with, "So, I have this mouth guard..."