Today's TFLN Features

Here are some new Texts From Last Night that I love! (my favorites in bold)

(405): Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
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(205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
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(401): my mouth tastes like poor choices
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(309): I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
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(530): Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
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(732): i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
(215): well..are you winning?
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(970): Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
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(540): she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
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(909): The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
(1-909): 3?
(909): Me, myself and I
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(619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
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(602): how was that guy you hooked up with?
(415): i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
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(410): That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
(301): Dude it was a lap dance
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(913): very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
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(206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
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(202): I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
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(405): I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
(614): handstands? WTF?
(405): she was a gymnast
(614): go to hell.
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(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
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