May 31, 2009

2009 MTV Movie Awards Recap

OPENING NUMBER - I know that Andy Samberg had a lot to do with the writing for that. The way the song flowed and cameras cut to appropriate people ... really just a great job on MTV's part.

Robert Patterson is really hot. Also, it's so nice of him to thank his stunt double upon receiving the award for Best Fight Scene.

FASHION TREND ALERT: High healed wedges with leather straps up to mid-calf.

Eminem performs. Not sure if you realize the fabulousity of this. Everyone in LA LA Land is at these awards - and he singing the song that everyone is made of fun in. He's definitely lipsynching. But I'm still into it. Following, he sings Crack a Bottle. I need to go to his concert.

I'm very into these extra entertainment add-ins with specially produced montages. Also, all these nominees are so great that I can't decide who I really want to win. This is happening with every category!

Robert Pattinson wins again, this time for Best Breathrough Performance. They keep showing Kristen Stewart with a look of upset at each part of his speech. I think he's kind of stupid actually. He pulls out a list of who he needs to thank out of his pocket and the first person on the list is fans. I mean, this boy needs more media training. Again, please see Jocelin Martinez.

Ok um, this thing with Eminem and Bruno just happened and I don't understand it. Basically, Bruno came to introduce an award, but was flying through the air like an "angel." He ended up landing in a 69 position with Eminiem and all of a sudden bodyguards are up and fighting Bruno while he's still like hanging from the ceiling. Eminem ends up getting up and literally walking out. Was this scripted?? See what I'm talking about here. So it ends with Bruno saying "Zack Effron" - cut to- Zack looking dumbfounded. I don't even think he knows what the category is for -- cause I sure as shit don't! Ok Zack, get the hell off the show. You are more like a therapist analyzing life up there than a hot teen accepting an award.

Kristen Stewart, adorned in Converse hightops, and Robert Pattinson accepted the award for Best Kiss. That's crap. After seeing these boneheads on stage, I'm like over them.

Jim Carrey stands up from the audience and asks Andy Samberg to perform a Digital Short. "Why don't you get some of your new showbiz friends to help?" -- Chris Isaac and Leann Rimes take the stage singing Jizzed in my Pants in a very slow ballad. This is really funny, actually! The words are so vulgar, but she's singing it with such love and passion. Chris Isaac is up next singing On A Boat with a showtune effect. Next comes Lazy Sunday with the help of a large chorus in the background. Forrest Whitaker comes out singing Dick in a Box -- but you have to understand, they are all ballad-styles and completely slowed down with a full orchestra! Hysterical....climaxing and ending with Mother Lover at the end. Fabulous -- though I'd much rather have prefered seeing Justin Timberlake with Andy up there. Mostly because I love Justin Timberlake. Oh, did you not know that?

Hayden and someone else rap battle it out--cursing style. I'm into this. I want to be a writer for shows I think. ...and the award for the WTF award is Amy Poehler, who accepted via a really funny video. Is it weird that I'm really into this show right now?

Leighton Meister and Lil Wayne present together for best song in a movie. She looks so great! I like her style and she has a hot bod. I prefer her with darker hair though. Is it weird that Slumdog Millionnaire won about 1000 Academy Awards, but is doing shit-poorly during these awards? I mean how did Miley Cyrus beat out Jai Ho??? I could Jai Ho for HOURS on end! In any event, Miley showed her age, whilst being childlike during her acceptance speech. She'll look at these things in about 10 years and think "Holy shit, I can't believe I acted like that!"

Clip for Twilight's New Moon!! I am going to watch all of these movies. The books are just incredible. Although, as I said, I'm now over the cast. Ok, fake clip. And after the break, we're with the cast of Twlight. Taylor is hot to me...and also gay me thinks...no? I don't understand why Kristen looks really strung out. She looks like, really bad. Ok - NEW MOON! I think the problem is that I picture these characters SO differently when I'm reading the books....so they just don't live up to my expectations.

Ben Stiller seems less than amused as he's being honored for the Generation Award (whatever that means.) I think he's really funny actually. I'm noticing a trend during my viewing: I really can't tell what's scripted and what's real here. I think that should be the sign of really good writing and producing, right?

Best Female Performance is the next category. Angelina Jolie is way too good to be winning any of these awards. As is Kate Winslet. Obviously, Kristen Stewart is going to win this bullshit because this show is for Tweenagers. YUP - I was right. I mean, if I were Angelina Jolie I would scoff. This is a popularity contest and I'm really fired up right now. ...OHMYGOD SHE DROPPED THE AWARDDDDDDD. I'm laughing so harddd!!! "I'm just as akward as you thought I was going to be." is how she gets off stage.

Fact: According to Twitter, Lindsay Lohan was supposed to be on stage introducing the Kings of Leon - but she's stuck in Italy.

Danny McBride and Will Ferrell take the stage to announce best comedic performance HI BRODY JENNER!!!!! Anna Farris is really fucking funny actually. I laughed out loud during her clip. . . and the winner is: Jim Carrey for Yes Man (which sucked)...wow, totally a demographic anomoly! These three on stage are the oldest people in the room. During the spoof - a little plug for overturning Prop 8!! I don't get the joke "There wouldn't be a swine flu if we treated the pigs better." Do you? I'm serious.

Oh no way!!!! I can't believe it!!! Twilight won for Best Movie. Get out. I wouldn't have guessed.


I'm not editing this. Just posting it. NIGHT
K bye.