(808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
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(803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
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(323): don't go home with that guy from jersey
(626): i know, not worth the blood test
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(312): You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
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(678): why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
(770): I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
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(215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
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(218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
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(916): Hey you
(732): You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
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(212): Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
(248): hah, sarcasm, classic
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(608): I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
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Thanks for your ThoughtZ!