(805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
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(410): apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
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(859): I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
(1-859): Well... I doubt that.
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(714): He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
(714): Ive only called 5 times
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(512): 3.50 mugs at the bar.
(1-512): Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
(512): How ugly, and does she have friends?
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(617): Non-Jews are for practice
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(508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
(214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon
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(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
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(516): I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
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