(1-281): I'm sorry.
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(212): yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
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(831): Hey, what are you up to?
(802): Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
(802): Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard
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(207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
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(702): I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
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(561): You drink too much
(1-561): No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
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(919): great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
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(954): You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
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(631): If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
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(989): Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
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(612): You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
(763): Yes.
(612): fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
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(301): Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
(443): We using my standards or yours?
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(402): I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
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(512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
(1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
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(484): What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
(610): Which ones?
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(989): Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
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(612): You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
(763): Yes.
(612): fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
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(301): Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
(443): We using my standards or yours?
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(402): I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
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(512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
(1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
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(484): What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
(610): Which ones?
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(805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
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(408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
(650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food
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(518): Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
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(408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
(650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food
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(518): Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
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(703): i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
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(207): I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
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Thanks for your ThoughtZ!