Some Status Updates are Worth a Mention - 61

• I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer. Looks like we're almost outta beer...
• just victimized on "Craigslist" I just listed a pair of shoes for sell and provided my cell # for inquires and just recieved a phone call from Freak at 10am! Tellin me he wanted to be my Sex-Slave and Clean my Apt(almost said yes to that,lol) So i Say" Excuse me? So you dont want to buy the shoes?" and hes says "No i want to wash ur feet and watch u wear them!" Then I hung up! Kinda turned me on though,LMAO!
• finds stange pleasure in mooning people.
• will be waking up with a headache.
• is on a boat. No seriously...
• is on a double decker nj transit train!!!!!!!!
• wants to borrow the "thing" that makes T- Pain's voice the way it is. Just for one day- I'm sure he won't mind.
• just got bitten by some tarantula looking thing on Animal Crossing and passed out. (?!) "Woke up" in front of my house, apparently fine...VERY disconcerted by this, ain't gonna tell no lies...
• in a limo en route to the playboy mansion. The visual: in a tu tu and a top hat!
• Jones Beach was amazing. Camdens going to be in phull phorce phish phor phans phrom phorum phor phucking rocking the phuch phull!
• Cinema Continuity Fun Fact: Nic Cage's chest hair decreases in Con Air.
• wants to know who is playing bagpipes outside his apartment at 9pm...and why?
• Wonders the speed and height at which the bird was traveling to create a trajectory with its poop that cleared the barely open bathroom window to hit the clawfoot tub.