November 19, 2009

Does hooking up with a man too early make you a slut?

The single life is not an easy one. People are always saying they don’t want anyone who plays games, but let’s face it – dating is just that. It’s a game of checkers and it’s important to always know your next move and your move after the move your opponent on and so forth.

I find it very interesting the judgment women are pegged with based solely on the amount of time it takes to “hook up.” Sure, there’s the argument of the double standard where if men go around hooking up, it’s perfectly normal – but if a woman were to behave in the same capacity, they’re shunned and looked at as a slut. What happened to the notion of women who enjoy a good time? From a man’s perspective, is it possible to hook up with a girl too early, deeming them unworthy of a valuable and respectable relationship?

I’m not a harlot by any means. I don’t partake in casual sex because to me, the act is somewhat more emotional than simply physical. That said, every human being enjoys and appreciates the human touch. So how far is too far and how soon is too soon? In a man’s eyes, does doing “everything but” still a slut make? Of course, I understand that all positions are situation-dependent, but nevertheless, I’m curious to get a man’s perspective on this.

Since I know myself and my personal prude nature, I know that if I were to hook up with a guy I met not too long ago, it’s simply an act in an attempt for companionship and desire. But does the man view it the same? Does having a good time with said girl attach a judgment? It’s hard to alter the viewpoint of a male once he’s made up his mind. On the other hand, if you share physical compatibility, but know there’s no chance of a relationship coming about, do you still act “prude” so as to keep your sanity the next morning and reputation of being a “good girl?”

In my opinion, you should be having fun no matter what you do or who you’re with. Clearly, a woman knows what she's comfortable doing – since a man is always pretty much willing to go all the way all the time. Stereotypical proclamation? Perhaps – but it’s been my experience. And so I ask the men out there – to bring this full circle: If you go “far” with a woman not too long after meeting her, is she no longer worthy of being “wife material” anymore?