February 24, 2010

Some Facebook Status Updates are Worth a Mention - 103

  • Just saw a guy walking like he had a pole up his butt because his pants were so low slung that his belt was defying gravity around his thighs. Why people? Why?
  • You know it's not your day when... You scrape your leg on a file cabinet and it ends up bleeding... You burn the roof of your mouth with the Lean Cuisine you had for lunch and you cut your tongue whilst sealing an envelope... all on the same day!
  • With both parents now in rehab, what is going on with Charlie Sheen's 11-month-old twins? Lisa Rinna has 'em! She just Twittered: "Good news. The sheen babies r being well taken care of by our beloved nanny.” See, when you’re poor and have a crack problem, your babies are taken by the state. When you’re rich, they get... taken by Lisa Rinna's hired help. That's just the way Hollywood works, friends.
  • My dog was upset as I was getting ready to leave and I said, "calm down, I have to see a client so I can make money and pay the rent." Sounded odd, but I started wondering what is so different about prostitution and PR? We hustle for clients, bill by the hour and do whatever we can to service them so they are happy and... recommend us to others. Ew. I need a shower now.
  • Seems like Olympic Curling would be the easiest game to make for the Wii. Get your shit together Nintendo.
  • I wanted to Rick Roll everyone but the video is gone. Please Rick Roll me in memorium.
  • Wow 65 year old Gary Busey is a father again.That means when his son is 20 , Gary Busey will... still be sh*tballz crazy