Some Facebook Status Updates are Worth a Mention - 106

• cannot wait to sleep on her new 600 thread count sheets for the first time tonight!!! Yep, THIS is what 30-something married women feel extremely excited about at 12 am...

• Jay Leno is about as funny as a clown mobile twirling slowly above a dead baby's crib. Fuck You, lantern-jawed ususrper of Conan.

• Dentist is recommending an implant and a new crown...at the cost of 4,200. I could get all the fat sucked out of my body for that amount, yo.

• Funny hubby line of the night... "Pam Anderson is going to be a total bust on DWTS." Oh he's so punny!

• Today was a good day... Had 2 wake up at 5am, found my car window bashed into by a psycho stalker who stole my gps which made navigating the valley and ALL of LA and it's traffic (including dwntwn) extra fun and extra noisy(no window). Then came home to find the construction guys STILL IN my apartment cuz couldn't finish so now need an additional day. They also couldn't find their deoderants judging by the intense smell they left permiating my apartment.

• You know it's a slow news day when Yahoo's main story is "Lady Gaga wears a lobster on her head"

• boy my skin is milky, i need some vitamin D. On the other hand i never knew i had this many veins, am i seethrough?

• Jay Z concert tonight - MSG is slowly replacing Newark airport as my home away from home. Significantly closer to the LES, yet no opportunity to accumulate those sweet, sweet miles.